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If you're a horse, and someone gets on you, and falls off, and then gets right back on you, I read more
If you're a horse, and someone gets on you, and falls off, and then gets right back on you, I think you should buck him off right away.
Contrary to what most people say, the most dangerous animal in the world is not the lion or the tiger read more
Contrary to what most people say, the most dangerous animal in the world is not the lion or the tiger or even the elephant. It's a shark riding on an elephant's back, just trampling and eating everything they see.
Humor is not a postscript or an incidental afterthought; it is a serious and weighty part of the world's economy. read more
Humor is not a postscript or an incidental afterthought; it is a serious and weighty part of the world's economy. One feels increasingly the height of the faculty in which it arises, the nobility of things associated with it, and the greatness of services it renders. - Oscar Firkins: Memoirs and Letters.
To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there's no music, no choreography, and the dancers hit each other.
To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there's no music, no choreography, and the dancers hit each other.
Humor can alter any situation and help us cope at the very instant we are laughing.
Humor can alter any situation and help us cope at the very instant we are laughing.
I never dare to write
As funny as I can.
I never dare to write
As funny as I can.
A difference of taste in jokes is a great strain on the affections.
A difference of taste in jokes is a great strain on the affections.
Laurie got offended that I used the word "puke." But to me, that's what her dinner tasted like.
Laurie got offended that I used the word "puke." But to me, that's what her dinner tasted like.
If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is "God is crying." read more
If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is "Probably because of something you did.".
