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If you were a poor Indian with no weapons, and a bunch of conquistadors came up to you and asked read more
If you were a poor Indian with no weapons, and a bunch of conquistadors came up to you and asked where the gold was, I don't think it would be a good idea to say, "I swallowed it. So sue me.".
The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.
The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.
Once while walking through the mall a guy came up to me and said, 'Hey, how's it going?' So I read more
Once while walking through the mall a guy came up to me and said, 'Hey, how's it going?' So I grabbed his arm and twisted it up behind his head and said 'Now who's asking the questions?'
We never respect those who amuse us, however we may smile at their comic powers.
We never respect those who amuse us, however we may smile at their comic powers.
One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to DisneyLand, read more
One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to DisneyLand, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. "Oh, no," I said, "DisneyLand burned down." He cried and cried, but I think that deep down he thought it was a pretty good joke. I started to drive over to the real DisneyLand, but it was getting pretty late.
Humor distorts nothing, and only false gods are laughed off their earthly pedestals.
Humor distorts nothing, and only false gods are laughed off their earthly pedestals.
A person reveals his character by nothing so clearly as the joke he resents.
A person reveals his character by nothing so clearly as the joke he resents.
If you could choose one characteristic that would get you through life, choose a sense of humor.
If you could choose one characteristic that would get you through life, choose a sense of humor.
Whether they find a life there or not, I think Jupiter should be called an enemy planet.
Whether they find a life there or not, I think Jupiter should be called an enemy planet.
