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My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four unless there are three other people.
My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four unless there are three other people.
Learn to laugh at your troubles and you'll never run out of things to laugh at.
Learn to laugh at your troubles and you'll never run out of things to laugh at.
My mother was awarded the Serbian medal of freedom
for raising 3 dysfunctional Croatian sons.
My mother was awarded the Serbian medal of freedom
for raising 3 dysfunctional Croatian sons.
I never dare to write
As funny as I can.
I never dare to write
As funny as I can.
If I lived back in the wild west days, instead of carrying a six-gun in my holster, I'd carry a read more
If I lived back in the wild west days, instead of carrying a six-gun in my holster, I'd carry a soldering iron. That way, if some smart-aleck cowboy said something like 'Hey, look. He's carrying a soldering iron!' and started laughing, and everybody else started laughing, I could just say, 'That's right, it's a soldering iron. The soldering iron of justice.' Then everybody would get real quiet and ashamed, because they had made fun of the soldering iron of justice.
If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn't open, and you friends are all watching you fall, I think a read more
If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn't open, and you friends are all watching you fall, I think a funny gag would be to pretend you were swimming.
With the fearful strain that is on me night and day, if I did not laugh I should die.
With the fearful strain that is on me night and day, if I did not laugh I should die.
Anytime I see something screech across a room and latch onto someone's neck, and the guy screams and tries to read more
Anytime I see something screech across a room and latch onto someone's neck, and the guy screams and tries to get it off, I have to laugh, because what is that thing.
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
