You May Also Like / View all maxioms
My way of joking is to tell the truth. It is the funniest joke
in the world.
My way of joking is to tell the truth. It is the funniest joke
in the world.
If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater because then people would sing about me read more
If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater because then people would sing about me and I could fly down and eat them because I hate that song.
The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit.
The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit.
Is anything besides the mind ever boggled?
Is anything besides the mind ever boggled?
I've always been very zealous about not invading other people's private spaces.
I've always been very zealous about not invading other people's private spaces.
If I lived back in the wild west days, instead of carrying a six-gun in my holster, I'd carry a read more
If I lived back in the wild west days, instead of carrying a six-gun in my holster, I'd carry a soldering iron. That way, if some smart-aleck cowboy said something like 'Hey, look. He's carrying a soldering iron!' and started laughing, and everybody else started laughing, I could just say, 'That's right, it's a soldering iron. The soldering iron of justice.' Then everybody would get real quiet and ashamed, because they had made fun of the soldering iron of justice.
We never respect those who amuse us, however we may smile at their comic powers.
We never respect those who amuse us, however we may smile at their comic powers.
Humor is the instinct for taking pain playfully.
Humor is the instinct for taking pain playfully.
Many people think that history is a dull subject. Dull? Is it 'dull' that Jesse James once got bitten on read more
Many people think that history is a dull subject. Dull? Is it 'dull' that Jesse James once got bitten on the forehead by an ant, and at first it didn't seem like anything, but then the bite got worse and worse, so he went to a doctor in town, and the secretary told him to wait, so he sat down and waited, and waited, and waited, and waited, and then finally he got to see the doctor, and the doctor put some salve on it? You call that dull?
