If I lived back in the wild west days, instead of carrying a six-gun in my holster, I'd carry a soldering iron. That way, if some smart-aleck cowboy said something like 'Hey, look. He's carrying a soldering iron!' and started laughing, and everybody else started laughing, I could just say, 'That's right, it's a soldering iron. The soldering iron of justice.' Then everybody would get real quiet and ashamed, because they had made fun of the soldering iron of justice.
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The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.
The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.
If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is 'God is crying.' read more
If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is 'God is crying.' And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is 'Probably because of something you did.'
A person reveals his character by nothing so clearly as the joke he resents.
A person reveals his character by nothing so clearly as the joke he resents.
Eskimo: "If I did not know about God and sin, would I go to hell?" Priest: "No, not if you read more
Eskimo: "If I did not know about God and sin, would I go to hell?" Priest: "No, not if you did not know." Eskimo: "Then why did you tell me?"
Humor is mankind's greatest blessing.
Humor is mankind's greatest blessing.
Humor is perhaps a sense of intellectual perspective: an awareness that some things are really important, others not; and that read more
Humor is perhaps a sense of intellectual perspective: an awareness that some things are really important, others not; and that the two kinds are most oddly jumbled in everyday affairs. - Inward Ho.
Nothing shows a man's character more than what he laughs at.
Nothing shows a man's character more than what he laughs at.
A good way to threaten somebody is to light a stick of dynamite. Then you call the guy and hold read more
A good way to threaten somebody is to light a stick of dynamite. Then you call the guy and hold the burning fuse up to the phone. 'Hear that?' you say, 'That's dynamite, baby.'
The seal went into the restaurant and was asked
by the waiter if he would like a Canadian Club
on read more
The seal went into the restaurant and was asked
by the waiter if he would like a Canadian Club
on the rocks.
He replied
no thank you.
