A joke is an epigram on the death of a feeling.

A joke is an epigram on the death of a feeling.

A difference of taste in jokes is a great strain on the affections.

A difference of taste in jokes is a great strain on the affections.

If you ever fall off the Sears Tower, just go real limp, because maybe you'll look like a dummy and read more

If you ever fall off the Sears Tower, just go real limp, because maybe you'll look like a dummy and people will try to catch you because, hey, free dummy.

I wish outer space guys would conquer the Earth and make people their pets, because I'd like to have one read more

I wish outer space guys would conquer the Earth and make people their pets, because I'd like to have one of those little beds with my name on it.

The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.

The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.

Humour has justly been regarded as the finest perfection of poetic genius.

Humour has justly been regarded as the finest perfection of poetic genius.

I think someone should have had the decency to tell me the luncheon was free. To make someone run out read more

I think someone should have had the decency to tell me the luncheon was free. To make someone run out with potato salad in his hand, pretending he's throwing up, is not what I call hospitality.

Men show their character in nothing more clearly than by what they find laughable.

Men show their character in nothing more clearly than by what they find laughable.

Folks that blurt out just what they think wouldn't be so bad if they thought.

Folks that blurt out just what they think wouldn't be so bad if they thought.