Sometimes when I feel like killing someone, I do a little trick to calm myself down. I'll go over to the person's house and ring the doorbell. When the person comes to the door, I'm gone, but you know what I've left on the porch? A jack-o-lantern with a knife stuck in the side of its head with a note that says 'You.' After that I usually feel a lot better, and no harm done.
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The most wasted day of all is that in which we have not laughed.
The most wasted day of all is that in which we have not laughed.
Time flies like an arrow.
Fruit flies like a banana.
Time flies like an arrow.
Fruit flies like a banana.
Those who are serious in ridiculous matters will be ridiculous in serious matters.
Those who are serious in ridiculous matters will be ridiculous in serious matters.
If you don't learn to laugh at troubles, you won't have anything to laugh at when you grow old.
If you don't learn to laugh at troubles, you won't have anything to laugh at when you grow old.
Sometimes I lie awake at night, and ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This read more
Sometimes I lie awake at night, and ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'
Humore is an affirmation of man's dignity, a declaration of man's superiority to all that befalls him.
Humore is an affirmation of man's dignity, a declaration of man's superiority to all that befalls him.
I've always been very zealous about not invading other people's private spaces.
I've always been very zealous about not invading other people's private spaces.
Sometimes when reading Goethe I have the paralyzing suspicion that he is trying to be funny.
Sometimes when reading Goethe I have the paralyzing suspicion that he is trying to be funny.
I never dare to write
As funny as I can.
I never dare to write
As funny as I can.
