Sometimes when I feel like killing someone, I do a little trick to calm myself down. I'll go over to the person's house and ring the doorbell. When the person comes to the door, I'm gone, but you know what I've left on the porch? A jack-o-lantern with a knife stuck in the side of its head with a note that says 'You.' After that I usually feel a lot better, and no harm done.
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Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo, flying across in front of a beautiful sunset? And he's read more
Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo, flying across in front of a beautiful sunset? And he's carrying a beautiful rose in his beak, and also he's carrying a very beautiful painting with his feet. And also, you're drunk.
My way of joking is to tell the truth. It is the funniest joke
in the world.
My way of joking is to tell the truth. It is the funniest joke
in the world.
Folks that blurt out just what they think wouldn't be so bad if they thought.
Folks that blurt out just what they think wouldn't be so bad if they thought.
If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater because then people would sing about me read more
If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater because then people would sing about me and I could fly down and eat them because I hate that song.
Humor has justly been regarded as the finest perfection of poetic
genius.
Humor has justly been regarded as the finest perfection of poetic
genius.
Time flies like an arrow.
Fruit flies like a banana.
Time flies like an arrow.
Fruit flies like a banana.
Now I perceive the devil understands Welsh.
And 'tis no marvel he is so humorous.
By'r Lady, read more
Now I perceive the devil understands Welsh.
And 'tis no marvel he is so humorous.
By'r Lady, he is a good musician.
If you don't learn to laugh at troubles, you won't have anything to laugh at when you grow old.
If you don't learn to laugh at troubles, you won't have anything to laugh at when you grow old.
