A rich man's joke is always funny.

A rich man's joke is always funny.

With the fearful strain that is on me night and day, if I did not laugh I should die.

With the fearful strain that is on me night and day, if I did not laugh I should die.

The real reason for comedy is to hide the pain.

The real reason for comedy is to hide the pain.

If you ever catch on fire, try to avoid looking in a mirror, because I bet that will really throw read more

If you ever catch on fire, try to avoid looking in a mirror, because I bet that will really throw you into a panic.

I think 'Country Girl' is one song that can veer into country or hip-hop or rap. You can listen to read more

I think 'Country Girl' is one song that can veer into country or hip-hop or rap. You can listen to it and enjoy the humor and the fun in it.

Miss Piggy to Johnny Carson
.. do you think I am Oscar material?
Johnny Carson: Oscar Mayer maybe
NBC Tonight read more

Miss Piggy to Johnny Carson
.. do you think I am Oscar material?
Johnny Carson: Oscar Mayer maybe
NBC Tonight Show writers
http://www.mad-cow.org.

If I lived back in the wild west days, instead of carrying a six-gun in my holster, I'd carry a read more

If I lived back in the wild west days, instead of carrying a six-gun in my holster, I'd carry a soldering iron. That way, if some smart-aleck cowboy said something like 'Hey, look. He's carrying a soldering iron!' and started laughing, and everybody else started laughing, I could just say, 'That's right, it's a soldering iron. The soldering iron of justice.' Then everybody would get real quiet and ashamed, because they had made fun of the soldering iron of justice.

Humour has justly been regarded as the finest perfection of poetic genius.

Humour has justly been regarded as the finest perfection of poetic genius.

Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.

Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.