Woody Allen

If you want to make God laugh, tell him your future plans.

If you want to make God laugh, tell him your future plans.

If my film makes one more person miserable, I've done my job

If my film makes one more person miserable, I've done my job

I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy read more

I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.

There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it read more

There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened.

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve it by not dying!

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve it by not dying!