Woody Allen

Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.

Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.

I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.

I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.

If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss read more

If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.

Eternity is really long, especially near the end

Eternity is really long, especially near the end

I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government.

I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government.