Woody Allen

I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.

I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.

It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.

It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.

Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she
would come in and sink my read more

Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she
would come in and sink my boats.

There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it read more

There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened.

If you don't fail now and again, it's a sign you're playing it safe.

If you don't fail now and again, it's a sign you're playing it safe.