Woody Allen

I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I
looked into the soul of the boy read more

I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I
looked into the soul of the boy next to me.

How to make God laugh: Tell him your future plans.

How to make God laugh: Tell him your future plans.

What do I dislike about death? Must be the hours.

What do I dislike about death? Must be the hours.

Just don't take any class where you have to read BEOWULF.

Just don't take any class where you have to read BEOWULF.

If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: read more

If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: "Take two aspirin" and "Keep away from children".