Woody Allen

If you don't fail now and again, it's a sign you're playing it safe.

If you don't fail now and again, it's a sign you're playing it safe.

If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: read more

If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: "Take two aspirin" and "Keep away from children".

What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I
definitely overpaid for my carpet.

What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I
definitely overpaid for my carpet.

To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love. But then, one suffers from not loving. Therefore, read more

To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love. But then, one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer; not to love is to suffer; to suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy, then, is to suffer, but suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be happy, one must love or love to suffer or suffer from too much happiness.

Sex is like air; it's not important unless you aren't getting any

Sex is like air; it's not important unless you aren't getting any