Woody Allen

If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: read more

If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: "Take two aspirin" and "Keep away from children".

I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I
looked into the soul of the boy read more

I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I
looked into the soul of the boy next to me.

I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government.

I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government.

Eighty percent of success is showing up.

Eighty percent of success is showing up.

Eternity is really long, especially near the end

Eternity is really long, especially near the end