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Humor Quotes ( 60 - 70 of 112 )

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  16  /  19  

Time flies like an arrow.
Fruit flies like a banana.

Time flies like an arrow.
Fruit flies like a banana.

by Unknown Author Found in: Humor Quotes,
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  25  /  27  

a Christmas tree .. the perfect gift
for a guy... the plant is already dead
(monologue Dec 10 2003).

a Christmas tree .. the perfect gift
for a guy... the plant is already dead
(monologue Dec 10 2003).

by Jay Leno Found in: Humor Quotes,
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  22  /  17  

Is anything besides the mind ever boggled?

Is anything besides the mind ever boggled?

by O Anna Niemus Found in: Humor Quotes,
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  24  /  17  

Many people think that history is a dull subject. Dull? Is it 'dull' that Jesse James once got bitten on read more

Many people think that history is a dull subject. Dull? Is it 'dull' that Jesse James once got bitten on the forehead by an ant, and at first it didn't seem like anything, but then the bite got worse and worse, so he went to a doctor in town, and the secretary told him to wait, so he sat down and waited, and waited, and waited, and waited, and then finally he got to see the doctor, and the doctor put some salve on it? You call that dull?

by Jack Handey Found in: Humor Quotes,
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  17  /  21  

Wit is cultured insolence.

Wit is cultured insolence.

by Aristotle Found in: Humor Quotes, Wit Quotes,
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  26  /  20  

Folks that blurt out just what they think wouldn't be so bad if they thought.

Folks that blurt out just what they think wouldn't be so bad if they thought.

by Kin Hubbard Found in: Humor Quotes, Thoughts Quotes,
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  25  /  19  

Humour has justly been regarded as the finest perfection of poetic genius.

Humour has justly been regarded as the finest perfection of poetic genius.

by Thomas Carlyle Found in: Humor Quotes,
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  29  /  25  

Instead of studying for finals, what about just going to the Bahamas and catching some rays? Maybe you'll flunk, but read more

Instead of studying for finals, what about just going to the Bahamas and catching some rays? Maybe you'll flunk, but you might have flunked anyway; that's my point.

by Jack Handey Found in: Humor Quotes,
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  32  /  40  

I love to go to the schoolyard and watch the children jump and scream, but they don't know I'm using read more

I love to go to the schoolyard and watch the children jump and scream, but they don't know I'm using blanks.

by Jack Handey Found in: Humor Quotes,
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  30  /  37  

Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo, flying across in front of a beautiful sunset? And he's read more

Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo, flying across in front of a beautiful sunset? And he's carrying a beautiful rose in his beak, and also he's carrying a very beautiful painting with his feet. And also, you're drunk.

by Jack Handey Found in: Humor Quotes,
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