Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people read more

Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh.

I said that Sean Hannity took residence up Newt Gingrich's
butt from 94 to 98. I got that from British read more

I said that Sean Hannity took residence up Newt Gingrich's
butt from 94 to 98. I got that from British intelligence.
It turns out he only took up residence in 95.

We never respect those who amuse us, however we may smile at their comic powers.

We never respect those who amuse us, however we may smile at their comic powers.

My way of joking is to tell the truth. It is the funniest joke
in the world.

My way of joking is to tell the truth. It is the funniest joke
in the world.

If you want anything done well, do it yourself. This is why most people laugh at their own jokes.

If you want anything done well, do it yourself. This is why most people laugh at their own jokes.

He who laughs last has not yet heard the bad news.

He who laughs last has not yet heard the bad news.

To me, clowns aren't funny. In fact, they're kind of scary. I've wondered where this started and I think it read more

To me, clowns aren't funny. In fact, they're kind of scary. I've wondered where this started and I think it goes back to the time I went to the circus, and a clown killed my dad.

In the end, everything is a gag.

In the end, everything is a gag.

Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo, flying across in front of a beautiful sunset? And he's read more

Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo, flying across in front of a beautiful sunset? And he's carrying a beautiful rose in his beak, and also he's carrying a very beautiful painting with his feet. And also, you're drunk.