Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is read more

Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing.

The seal went into the restaurant and was asked
by the waiter if he would like a Canadian Club
on read more

The seal went into the restaurant and was asked
by the waiter if he would like a Canadian Club
on the rocks.
He replied
no thank you.

Reasonable people adapt themselves to the world. Unreasonable people attempt to adapt the world to themselves. All progress, therefore, depends read more

Reasonable people adapt themselves to the world. Unreasonable people attempt to adapt the world to themselves. All progress, therefore, depends on unreasonable people.

A good thing to remember is somebody's got it a lot worse than we do.

A good thing to remember is somebody's got it a lot worse than we do.

Most people don't realize that large pieces of coral, which have been painted brown and attached to the skull by read more

Most people don't realize that large pieces of coral, which have been painted brown and attached to the skull by common wood screws, can make a child look like a deer.

If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater because then people would sing about me read more

If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater because then people would sing about me and I could fly down and eat them because I hate that song.

I am looking for a lot of men who have an infinite capacity to not know what can't be done.

I am looking for a lot of men who have an infinite capacity to not know what can't be done.

People who count their chickens before they are hatched, act very wisely, because chickens run about so absurdly that it read more

People who count their chickens before they are hatched, act very wisely, because chickens run about so absurdly that it is impossible to count them accurately

I have a fine sense of the ridiculous, but no sense of humour.

I have a fine sense of the ridiculous, but no sense of humour.