Male menopause is a lot more fun than female menopause. With female menopause you gain weight and get hot flashes. read more

Male menopause is a lot more fun than female menopause. With female menopause you gain weight and get hot flashes. Male menopause — you get to date young girls and drive motorcycles.

I'm married to the theater but my mistress is the films.

I'm married to the theater but my mistress is the films.

If two men on the same job agree all the time, then one is useless. If they disagree all the read more

If two men on the same job agree all the time, then one is useless. If they disagree all the time, then both are useless.

That old saying, how you always hurt the one you love, well, it works both ways

That old saying, how you always hurt the one you love, well, it works both ways

I don't take the movies seriously, and anyone who does is in for a headache.

I don't take the movies seriously, and anyone who does is in for a headache.

Most men hate to shop. That's why the men's department is usually on the first floor of a department store, read more

Most men hate to shop. That's why the men's department is usually on the first floor of a department store, two inches from the door.

Life is a B Movie: it's stupid and it's strange, it's a directionless story, the dialogue is lame, but in read more

Life is a B Movie: it's stupid and it's strange, it's a directionless story, the dialogue is lame, but in the 'he said she said' sometimes there's some poetry, if you turn your back long enough and let it happen naturally.

Neil: The meek may inherit the earth, but they don't get in to Harvard.

Neil: The meek may inherit the earth, but they don't get in to Harvard.

Deep in my heart I'm concealing things that I'm longing to say. Scared to confess what I'm feeling - frightened read more

Deep in my heart I'm concealing things that I'm longing to say. Scared to confess what I'm feeling - frightened you'll slip away.