Unless he knew you wouldn't believe the truth even if he told it to you.

Unless he knew you wouldn't believe the truth even if he told it to you.

Most men hate to shop. That's why the men's department is usually on the first floor of a department store, read more

Most men hate to shop. That's why the men's department is usually on the first floor of a department store, two inches from the door.

If I find a film dull, I find it infinitely more entertaining to watch the scratches.

If I find a film dull, I find it infinitely more entertaining to watch the scratches.

It's the movies that have really been running things in America ever since they were invented. They show you what read more

It's the movies that have really been running things in America ever since they were invented. They show you what to do, how to do it, when to do it, how to feel about it, and how to look how you feel about it.

If two men on the same job agree all the time, then one is useless. If they disagree all the read more

If two men on the same job agree all the time, then one is useless. If they disagree all the time, then both are useless.

Fortunately I know how to counter it, the man who did the waking buys the man who was sleeping a read more

Fortunately I know how to counter it, the man who did the waking buys the man who was sleeping a drink. The man who was sleeping drinks it while listening to a proposition, from the man who did the waking.

Neil: The meek may inherit the earth, but they don't get in to Harvard.

Neil: The meek may inherit the earth, but they don't get in to Harvard.

If the people we love are stolen from us, the way to have them live on is to never stop read more

If the people we love are stolen from us, the way to have them live on is to never stop loving them. Buildings burn, people die, but real love is forever.

A film is a petrified fountain of thought.

A film is a petrified fountain of thought.