You can have it all. You just can't have it all at once.

You can have it all. You just can't have it all at once.

Most men hate to shop. That's why the men's department is usually on the first floor of a department store, read more

Most men hate to shop. That's why the men's department is usually on the first floor of a department store, two inches from the door.

Cinema is the most beautiful fraud in the world.

Cinema is the most beautiful fraud in the world.

The secret to film is that it's an illusion.

The secret to film is that it's an illusion.

So, where's the Cannes Film Festival being held this year?

So, where's the Cannes Film Festival being held this year?

Male menopause is a lot more fun than female menopause. With female menopause you gain weight and get hot flashes. read more

Male menopause is a lot more fun than female menopause. With female menopause you gain weight and get hot flashes. Male menopause — you get to date young girls and drive motorcycles.

Give the American people a good cause, and there's nothing they can't lick.

Give the American people a good cause, and there's nothing they can't lick.

I don't feel we did wrong in taking this great country away from them. There were great numbers of people read more

I don't feel we did wrong in taking this great country away from them. There were great numbers of people who needed new land, and the Indians were selfishly trying to keep it for themselves.

Deep in my heart I'm concealing things that I'm longing to say. Scared to confess what I'm feeling - frightened read more

Deep in my heart I'm concealing things that I'm longing to say. Scared to confess what I'm feeling - frightened you'll slip away.