When I look at the future, it's so bright it burns my eyes.

When I look at the future, it's so bright it burns my eyes.

Most men hate to shop. That's why the men's department is usually on the first floor of a department store, read more

Most men hate to shop. That's why the men's department is usually on the first floor of a department store, two inches from the door.

Neil: The meek may inherit the earth, but they don't get in to Harvard.

Neil: The meek may inherit the earth, but they don't get in to Harvard.

Tomorrow is the most important thing in life. Comes into us at midnight very clean. It's perfect when it arrives read more

Tomorrow is the most important thing in life. Comes into us at midnight very clean. It's perfect when it arrives and puts itself in our hands. It hopes we've learned something from yesterday.

Unless he knew you wouldn't believe the truth even if he told it to you.

Unless he knew you wouldn't believe the truth even if he told it to you.

Life is a B Movie: it's stupid and it's strange, it's a directionless story, the dialogue is lame, but in read more

Life is a B Movie: it's stupid and it's strange, it's a directionless story, the dialogue is lame, but in the 'he said she said' sometimes there's some poetry, if you turn your back long enough and let it happen naturally.

Getting rid of a man without hurting his masculinity is a problem. 'Get out' and 'I never want to see read more

Getting rid of a man without hurting his masculinity is a problem. 'Get out' and 'I never want to see you again' might sound like a challenge. If you want to get rid of a man, I suggest saying, 'I love you.... I want to marry you.... I want to have your children.' Sometimes they leave skid marks.

If two men on the same job agree all the time, then one is useless. If they disagree all the read more

If two men on the same job agree all the time, then one is useless. If they disagree all the time, then both are useless.

In the 1930s people went to see films not just to be entertained or to escape the dreariness of their read more

In the 1930s people went to see films not just to be entertained or to escape the dreariness of their workaday lives but to gain an education, to see the world, to learn table manners and interior decoration, how to dress, kiss, to laugh and cry, how to react to tragedy and happiness, how to be brave, evil and good.