If two men on the same job agree all the time, then one is useless. If they disagree all the read more

If two men on the same job agree all the time, then one is useless. If they disagree all the time, then both are useless.

Fortunately I know how to counter it, the man who did the waking buys the man who was sleeping a read more

Fortunately I know how to counter it, the man who did the waking buys the man who was sleeping a drink. The man who was sleeping drinks it while listening to a proposition, from the man who did the waking.

A wide screen just makes a bad film twice as bad.

A wide screen just makes a bad film twice as bad.

Male menopause is a lot more fun than female menopause. With female menopause you gain weight and get hot flashes. read more

Male menopause is a lot more fun than female menopause. With female menopause you gain weight and get hot flashes. Male menopause — you get to date young girls and drive motorcycles.

It's the movies that have really been running things in America ever since they were invented. They show you what read more

It's the movies that have really been running things in America ever since they were invented. They show you what to do, how to do it, when to do it, how to feel about it, and how to look how you feel about it.

I'm married to the theater but my mistress is the films.

I'm married to the theater but my mistress is the films.

Sometimes in movies, I still have to be the hero, but it's not all that important to me anymore.

Sometimes in movies, I still have to be the hero, but it's not all that important to me anymore.

Follow your instincts. That's where true wisdom manifests itself.

Follow your instincts. That's where true wisdom manifests itself.

Give the American people a good cause, and there's nothing they can't lick.

Give the American people a good cause, and there's nothing they can't lick.