I refuse to admit that I am more than 52, even if that makes my children illegitimate.

I refuse to admit that I am more than 52, even if that makes my children illegitimate.

Most married couples, even though they love each other very much in theory, tend to view each other in practice read more

Most married couples, even though they love each other very much in theory, tend to view each other in practice as large teeming flaw colonies, the result being that they get on each other's nerves and regularly erupt into vicious emotional shouting matches over such issues as toaster settings.

I guess the only way to stop divorce is to stop marriage.

I guess the only way to stop divorce is to stop marriage.

Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.

Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.

Nor need we power or splendor, wide hall or lordly dome; the good, the true, the tender- these form the read more

Nor need we power or splendor, wide hall or lordly dome; the good, the true, the tender- these form the wealth of home.

You don't know a woman until you have a letter from her

You don't know a woman until you have a letter from her

Don't you realize that as long as you have to sit down to pee, you'll never be a dominant force read more

Don't you realize that as long as you have to sit down to pee, you'll never be a dominant force in the world? You'll never be a convincing technocrat or middle manager. Because people will know. She's in there sitting down.

A small family is soon provided for.

A small family is soon provided for.

Epperson's law: When a man says it's a silly, childish game, it's probably something his wife can beat him at.

Epperson's law: When a man says it's a silly, childish game, it's probably something his wife can beat him at.