Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.

Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.

In this society, the norm of masculinity is phallic aggression. Male sexuality is, by definition, intensely and rigidly phallic. A read more

In this society, the norm of masculinity is phallic aggression. Male sexuality is, by definition, intensely and rigidly phallic. A man's identity is located in his conception of himself as the possessor of a phallus; a man's worth is located in his pride in phallic identity. The main characteristic of phallic identity is that worth is entirely contingent on the possession of a phallus. Since men have no other criteria for worth, no other notion of identity, those who do not have phalluses are not recognized as fully human.

No woman marries for money; they are all clever enough, before marrying a millionaire, to fall in love with him read more

No woman marries for money; they are all clever enough, before marrying a millionaire, to fall in love with him first.

Be kind to thy father, for when thou were young, who loved thee so fondly as he? He caught the read more

Be kind to thy father, for when thou were young, who loved thee so fondly as he? He caught the first accents that fell from thy tongue, and joined in thy innocent glee.

I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home, which answer the same purpose as read more

I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home, which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog which growls every morning, a parrot which swears all afternoon and a cat that comes home late at night.

Family jokes, though rightly cursed by strangers, are the bond that keeps most families alive.

Family jokes, though rightly cursed by strangers, are the bond that keeps most families alive.

I have always dressed according to certain Basic Guy Fashion Rules, including: * Both of your socks should always be read more

I have always dressed according to certain Basic Guy Fashion Rules, including: * Both of your socks should always be the same color * Or they should at least both be fairly dark.

Love is blind and marriage is the institution for the blind.

Love is blind and marriage is the institution for the blind.

Old age is like everything else. To make a success of it, you've got to start young.

Old age is like everything else. To make a success of it, you've got to start young.