She'd have you spew up what you've drunk when you were out.

She'd have you spew up what you've drunk when you were out.

To marry is to halve your rights and double your duties.

To marry is to halve your rights and double your duties.

A man is already halfway in love with any woman who listens to him.

A man is already halfway in love with any woman who listens to him.

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in read more

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in her.

Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.

Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.

Opportunity knocks for every man, but you have to give a woman a ring.

Opportunity knocks for every man, but you have to give a woman a ring.

Every mother generally hopes that her daughter will snag a better husband than she managed to do...but she's certain that read more

Every mother generally hopes that her daughter will snag a better husband than she managed to do...but she's certain that her boy will never get as great a wife as his father did.

I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home, which answer the same purpose as read more

I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home, which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog which growls every morning, a parrot which swears all afternoon and a cat that comes home late at night.

We have not passed that subtle line between childhood and adulthood until we move from the passive voice to the read more

We have not passed that subtle line between childhood and adulthood until we move from the passive voice to the active voice -- that is, until we have stopped saying "It got lost," and say, "I lost it.".