The way to fight a woman is with your hat. Grab it and run.

The way to fight a woman is with your hat. Grab it and run.

I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, read more

I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar.

The distinction between children and adults, while probably useful for some purposes, is at bottom a specious one, I feel. read more

The distinction between children and adults, while probably useful for some purposes, is at bottom a specious one, I feel. There are only individual egos, crazy for love.

Women are most fascinating between the ages of thirty-five and forty, after they have won a few races and know read more

Women are most fascinating between the ages of thirty-five and forty, after they have won a few races and know how to pace themselves. Since few women ever pass forty, maximum fascination can continue indefinitely.

Few misfortunes can befall a boy which bring worse consequences than to have a really affectionate mother.

Few misfortunes can befall a boy which bring worse consequences than to have a really affectionate mother.

Men say they love independence in a woman, but they don't waste a second demolishing it brick by brick.

Men say they love independence in a woman, but they don't waste a second demolishing it brick by brick.

The most happy marriage I can imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind read more

The most happy marriage I can imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman.

I'd marry again if I found a man who had 15 million and would sign over half of it to read more

I'd marry again if I found a man who had 15 million and would sign over half of it to me before the marriage and guarantee he'd be dead within a year.

There is nothing enduring in life for a woman except what she builds in a man's heart.

There is nothing enduring in life for a woman except what she builds in a man's heart.