If it weren't for marriage, men and women would have to fight with total strangers.

If it weren't for marriage, men and women would have to fight with total strangers.

A woman in love can't be reasonable--or she probably wouldn't be in love.

A woman in love can't be reasonable--or she probably wouldn't be in love.

I've had the boyhood thing of being Elvis. Now I want to be with my best friend, and my best read more

I've had the boyhood thing of being Elvis. Now I want to be with my best friend, and my best friend's my wife. Who could ask for anything more?

Where there is marriage without love, there will be love without marriage.

Where there is marriage without love, there will be love without marriage.

Mistress: Something between a mister and a mattress.

Mistress: Something between a mister and a mattress.

Man loves little and often. Woman much and rarely.

Man loves little and often. Woman much and rarely.

Patience makes a woman beautiful in middle age.

Patience makes a woman beautiful in middle age.

Men don't know much about women. We do know when they're happy. We know when they're crying, and we know read more

Men don't know much about women. We do know when they're happy. We know when they're crying, and we know when they're pissed off. We just don't know in what order these are gonna come at us.

Old age is like everything else. To make a success of it, you've got to start young.

Old age is like everything else. To make a success of it, you've got to start young.