What Women Want: To be loved, to be listened to, to be desired, to be respected, to be needed, to read more

What Women Want: To be loved, to be listened to, to be desired, to be respected, to be needed, to be trusted, and sometimes, just to be held. What Men Want: Tickets for the world series.

A commitment to sexual equality with males is a commitment to becoming the rich instead of the poor, the rapist read more

A commitment to sexual equality with males is a commitment to becoming the rich instead of the poor, the rapist instead of the raped, the murderer instead of the murdered.

A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother why the bride changed her mind. "What do you mean?" read more

A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother why the bride changed her mind. "What do you mean?" responded her mother. "Well, she went down the aisle with one man, and came back with another.".

They say that women talk too much. If you have worked in congress you know that the filibuster was invented read more

They say that women talk too much. If you have worked in congress you know that the filibuster was invented by men. -Clare Booth Luce.

The woman is the home. That's where she used to be, and that's where she still is. You might ask read more

The woman is the home. That's where she used to be, and that's where she still is. You might ask me, What if a man tries to be part of the home -- will the woman let him? I answer yes. Because then he becomes one of the children.

Never tell. Not if you love your wife... In fact, if your old lady walks in on you, deny it. read more

Never tell. Not if you love your wife... In fact, if your old lady walks in on you, deny it. Yeah. Just flat out and she'll believe it: "I'm tellin' ya. This chick came downstairs with a sign around her neck 'Lay on Top of Me Or I'll Die.' I didn't know what I was gonna do....".

Family jokes, though rightly cursed by strangers, are the bond that keeps most families alive.

Family jokes, though rightly cursed by strangers, are the bond that keeps most families alive.

A man's face is his autobiography. A woman's face is her work of fiction.

A man's face is his autobiography. A woman's face is her work of fiction.

My mother-in-law broke up my marriage. My wife came home from work one day and found me in bed with read more

My mother-in-law broke up my marriage. My wife came home from work one day and found me in bed with her.