The best way to hold a man is in your arms.

The best way to hold a man is in your arms.

Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't, they'd be married too.

Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't, they'd be married too.

I have always dressed according to certain Basic Guy Fashion Rules, including: * Both of your socks should always be read more

I have always dressed according to certain Basic Guy Fashion Rules, including: * Both of your socks should always be the same color * Or they should at least both be fairly dark.

Marriage is a lottery, but you can't tear up your ticket if you lose.

Marriage is a lottery, but you can't tear up your ticket if you lose.

One should never trust a woman who tells one her real age. A woman who would tell one that would read more

One should never trust a woman who tells one her real age. A woman who would tell one that would tell one anything.

Man was made at the end of the week's work, when God was tired

Man was made at the end of the week's work, when God was tired

Never tell. Not if you love your wife... In fact, if your old lady walks in on you, deny it. read more

Never tell. Not if you love your wife... In fact, if your old lady walks in on you, deny it. Yeah. Just flat out and she'll believe it: "I'm tellin' ya. This chick came downstairs with a sign around her neck 'Lay on Top of Me Or I'll Die.' I didn't know what I was gonna do....".

Roots is not just a saga of my family. It is the symbolic saga of a people.

Roots is not just a saga of my family. It is the symbolic saga of a people.

Eternal boyhood is the dream of a depressing percentage of American males, and the locker room is the temple where read more

Eternal boyhood is the dream of a depressing percentage of American males, and the locker room is the temple where they worship arrested development.