A woman has got to love a bad man once or twice in her life, to be thankful for a read more

A woman has got to love a bad man once or twice in her life, to be thankful for a good one

A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.

A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.

Family jokes, though rightly cursed by strangers, are the bond that keeps most families alive.

Family jokes, though rightly cursed by strangers, are the bond that keeps most families alive.

Ceremony and ritual spring from our heart of hearts: those who govern us know it well, for they would sooner read more

Ceremony and ritual spring from our heart of hearts: those who govern us know it well, for they would sooner deny us bread than dare alter the observance of tradition.

Women are most fascinating between the ages of thirty-five and forty, after they have won a few races and know read more

Women are most fascinating between the ages of thirty-five and forty, after they have won a few races and know how to pace themselves. Since few women ever pass forty, maximum fascination can continue indefinitely.

Man loves little and often. Woman much and rarely.

Man loves little and often. Woman much and rarely.

Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed.

Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed.

I feel like Zsa Zsa Gabor's sixth husband. I know what I'm supposed to do, but I don't know how read more

I feel like Zsa Zsa Gabor's sixth husband. I know what I'm supposed to do, but I don't know how to make it interesting.

Eternal boyhood is the dream of a depressing percentage of American males, and the locker room is the temple where read more

Eternal boyhood is the dream of a depressing percentage of American males, and the locker room is the temple where they worship arrested development.