Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.

Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.

I've sometimes thought of marrying, and then I've thought again.

I've sometimes thought of marrying, and then I've thought again.

The best way to hold a man is in your arms.

The best way to hold a man is in your arms.

She'd have you spew up what you've drunk when you were out.

She'd have you spew up what you've drunk when you were out.

Why did Nature create man? Was it to show that she is big enough to make mistakes, or was it read more

Why did Nature create man? Was it to show that she is big enough to make mistakes, or was it pure ignorance?

Husbands are like fires. They go out if unattended.

Husbands are like fires. They go out if unattended.

In peace the sons bury their fathers, but in war the fathers bury their sons.

In peace the sons bury their fathers, but in war the fathers bury their sons.

Every woman is wrong until she cries, and then she is right, instantly

Every woman is wrong until she cries, and then she is right, instantly

A good cigar is as great a comfort to a man as a good cry is to a woman.

A good cigar is as great a comfort to a man as a good cry is to a woman.