I refuse to admit that I am more than 52, even if that makes my children illegitimate.

I refuse to admit that I am more than 52, even if that makes my children illegitimate.

Epperson's law: When a man says it's a silly, childish game, it's probably something his wife can beat him at.

Epperson's law: When a man says it's a silly, childish game, it's probably something his wife can beat him at.

One should never trust a woman who tells one her real age. A woman who would tell one that would read more

One should never trust a woman who tells one her real age. A woman who would tell one that would tell one anything.

A man who marries a woman to educate her falls a victim to the same fallacy as the woman who read more

A man who marries a woman to educate her falls a victim to the same fallacy as the woman who marries a man to reform him.

Men don't know much about women. We do know when they're happy. We know when they're crying, and we know read more

Men don't know much about women. We do know when they're happy. We know when they're crying, and we know when they're pissed off. We just don't know in what order these are gonna come at us.

The kind of power mothers have is enormous. Take the skyline of Istanbul -- enormous breasts, pathetic little willies, a read more

The kind of power mothers have is enormous. Take the skyline of Istanbul -- enormous breasts, pathetic little willies, a final revenge on Islam. I was so scared I had to crouch in the bottom of the boat when I saw it.

The surest sign of age is loneliness.

The surest sign of age is loneliness.

On one issue, at least, men and women agree; they both distrust women.

On one issue, at least, men and women agree; they both distrust women.

You know I met you,
Kist you, and prest you close within my arms,
With all the read more

You know I met you,
Kist you, and prest you close within my arms,
With all the tenderness of wifely love.