A man's best fortune, or his worst, is his wife

A man's best fortune, or his worst, is his wife

Oh! 'tis a precious thing, when wives are dead,
To find such numbers who will serve instead:
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Oh! 'tis a precious thing, when wives are dead,
To find such numbers who will serve instead:
And in whatever state a man be thrown,
'Tis that precisely they would wish their own.

Flesh of thy flesh, nor yet bone of thy bone.

Flesh of thy flesh, nor yet bone of thy bone.

Try praising your wife, even if it does frighten her at first

Try praising your wife, even if it does frighten her at first

So bent on self-sanctifying,--
That she never thought of trying
To save her poor husband as well.

So bent on self-sanctifying,--
That she never thought of trying
To save her poor husband as well.

I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.

I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.

There is trouble with a wife, but it's even worse with a woman who is not a wife

There is trouble with a wife, but it's even worse with a woman who is not a wife

Wives are young men's mistresses; companions for middle age; and
old men's nurses.

Wives are young men's mistresses; companions for middle age; and
old men's nurses.

The wife was pretty, trifling, childish, weak;
She could not think, but would not cease to speak.

The wife was pretty, trifling, childish, weak;
She could not think, but would not cease to speak.