Women are most fascinating between the ages of thirty-five and forty, after they have won a few races and know read more

Women are most fascinating between the ages of thirty-five and forty, after they have won a few races and know how to pace themselves. Since few women ever pass forty, maximum fascination can continue indefinitely.

Family jokes, though rightly cursed by strangers, are the bond that keeps most families alive.

Family jokes, though rightly cursed by strangers, are the bond that keeps most families alive.

You see, dear, it is not true that woman was made from man's rib; she was really made from his read more

You see, dear, it is not true that woman was made from man's rib; she was really made from his funny bone.

I have come to the conclusion never again to think of marrying, and for this reason, I can never be read more

I have come to the conclusion never again to think of marrying, and for this reason, I can never be satisfied with anyone who would be blockhead enough to have me.

The majority of persons choose their wives with as little prudence as they eat. They see a troll with nothing read more

The majority of persons choose their wives with as little prudence as they eat. They see a troll with nothing else to recommend her but a pair of thighs and choice hunkers, and so smart to void their seed that they marry her at once. They imagine they can live in marvelous contentment with handsome feet and ambrosial buttocks. Most men are accredited fools shortly after they leave the womb.

I would be married, but I'd have no wife, I would be married to a single life.

I would be married, but I'd have no wife, I would be married to a single life.

When women go wrong, men go right after them. -Mae West.

When women go wrong, men go right after them. -Mae West.

There must be some reason why a man must be convinced, while a woman must be persuaded.

There must be some reason why a man must be convinced, while a woman must be persuaded.

Men act and women appear. Men look at women. Women watch themselves being looked at.

Men act and women appear. Men look at women. Women watch themselves being looked at.