I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like read more

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.

Old age is like everything else. To make a success of it, you've got to start young.

Old age is like everything else. To make a success of it, you've got to start young.

For a male and female to live continuously together is...biologically speaking, an extremely unnatural condition.

For a male and female to live continuously together is...biologically speaking, an extremely unnatural condition.

I feel like Zsa Zsa Gabor's sixth husband. I know what I'm supposed to do, but I don't know how read more

I feel like Zsa Zsa Gabor's sixth husband. I know what I'm supposed to do, but I don't know how to make it interesting.

A woman has got to love a bad man once or twice in her life, to be thankful for a read more

A woman has got to love a bad man once or twice in her life, to be thankful for a good one

While farmers generally allow one rooster for ten hens, ten men are scarcely sufficient to service one woman.

While farmers generally allow one rooster for ten hens, ten men are scarcely sufficient to service one woman.

As blushing will sometimes make a whore pass for a virtuous woman, so modesty may make a fool seem a read more

As blushing will sometimes make a whore pass for a virtuous woman, so modesty may make a fool seem a man of sense.

Family jokes, though rightly cursed by strangers, are the bond that keeps most families alive.

Family jokes, though rightly cursed by strangers, are the bond that keeps most families alive.

When I can no longer bear to think of the victims of broken homes, I begin to think of the read more

When I can no longer bear to think of the victims of broken homes, I begin to think of the victims of intact ones.