I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home, which answer the same purpose as read more

I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home, which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog which growls every morning, a parrot which swears all afternoon and a cat that comes home late at night.

A mother understands what a child does not say.

A mother understands what a child does not say.

I have come to the conclusion never again to think of marrying, and for this reason, I can never be read more

I have come to the conclusion never again to think of marrying, and for this reason, I can never be satisfied with anyone who would be blockhead enough to have me.

Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.

Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.

Want him to be more of a man? Try being more of a woman!

Want him to be more of a man? Try being more of a woman!

Man is not the enemy here, but the fellow victim.

Man is not the enemy here, but the fellow victim.

If Miss means respectably unmarried, and Mrs. respectably married, then Ms. means nudge, nudge, wink, wink.

If Miss means respectably unmarried, and Mrs. respectably married, then Ms. means nudge, nudge, wink, wink.

Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse's family does read more

Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse's family does too.

Diamonds never leave you... men do!

Diamonds never leave you... men do!