Nor need we power or splendor, wide hall or lordly dome; the good, the true, the tender- these form the read more

Nor need we power or splendor, wide hall or lordly dome; the good, the true, the tender- these form the wealth of home.

The government is becoming the family of last resort.

The government is becoming the family of last resort.

Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.

Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.

Never tell. Not if you love your wife... In fact, if your old lady walks in on you, deny it. read more

Never tell. Not if you love your wife... In fact, if your old lady walks in on you, deny it. Yeah. Just flat out and she'll believe it: "I'm tellin' ya. This chick came downstairs with a sign around her neck 'Lay on Top of Me Or I'll Die.' I didn't know what I was gonna do....".

Men don't know much about women. We do know when they're happy. We know when they're crying, and we know read more

Men don't know much about women. We do know when they're happy. We know when they're crying, and we know when they're pissed off. We just don't know in what order these are gonna come at us.

Girls are like butterflies...pretty to look at, too hard to catch.

Girls are like butterflies...pretty to look at, too hard to catch.

Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy-- the mother.

Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy-- the mother.

The most happy marriage I can imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind read more

The most happy marriage I can imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman.

If men knew all that women think, they'd be twenty times more daring.

If men knew all that women think, they'd be twenty times more daring.