Men don't know much about women. We do know when they're happy. We know when they're crying, and we know read more

Men don't know much about women. We do know when they're happy. We know when they're crying, and we know when they're pissed off. We just don't know in what order these are gonna come at us.

Every mother generally hopes that her daughter will snag a better husband than she managed to do...but she's certain that read more

Every mother generally hopes that her daughter will snag a better husband than she managed to do...but she's certain that her boy will never get as great a wife as his father did.

The most happy marriage I can imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind read more

The most happy marriage I can imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman.

And behind every man who's a failure there's a woman, too!

And behind every man who's a failure there's a woman, too!

Marriage is a great institution, but who wants to live in an institution?

Marriage is a great institution, but who wants to live in an institution?

I have always dressed according to certain Basic Guy Fashion Rules, including: * Both of your socks should always be read more

I have always dressed according to certain Basic Guy Fashion Rules, including: * Both of your socks should always be the same color * Or they should at least both be fairly dark.

Diamonds never leave you... men do!

Diamonds never leave you... men do!

Mistress: Something between a mister and a mattress.

Mistress: Something between a mister and a mattress.

Epperson's law: When a man says it's a silly, childish game, it's probably something his wife can beat him at.

Epperson's law: When a man says it's a silly, childish game, it's probably something his wife can beat him at.