What Women Want: To be loved, to be listened to, to be desired, to be respected, to be needed, to read more

What Women Want: To be loved, to be listened to, to be desired, to be respected, to be needed, to be trusted, and sometimes, just to be held. What Men Want: Tickets for the world series.

If men knew all that women think, they'd be twenty times more daring.

If men knew all that women think, they'd be twenty times more daring.

A single man has not nearly the value he would have in a state of union. He is an incomplete read more

A single man has not nearly the value he would have in a state of union. He is an incomplete animal. He resembles the odd half of a pair of scissors.

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in read more

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in her.

To marry is to halve your rights and double your duties.

To marry is to halve your rights and double your duties.

Never tell. Not if you love your wife... In fact, if your old lady walks in on you, deny it. read more

Never tell. Not if you love your wife... In fact, if your old lady walks in on you, deny it. Yeah. Just flat out and she'll believe it: "I'm tellin' ya. This chick came downstairs with a sign around her neck 'Lay on Top of Me Or I'll Die.' I didn't know what I was gonna do....".

God help the man who won't marry until he finds a perfect woman, and God help him still more if read more

God help the man who won't marry until he finds a perfect woman, and God help him still more if he finds her.

There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage.

There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage.

Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry.

Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry.