They keep saying the right person will come along, I think mine got hit by a truck.

They keep saying the right person will come along, I think mine got hit by a truck.

I require three things in a man: He must be handsome, ruthless, and stupid.

I require three things in a man: He must be handsome, ruthless, and stupid.

Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.

Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.

Bigamy is one way of avoiding the painful publicity of divorce and the expense of alimony.

Bigamy is one way of avoiding the painful publicity of divorce and the expense of alimony.

Someone once asked me why women don't gamble as much as men do and I gave the commonsensical reply that read more

Someone once asked me why women don't gamble as much as men do and I gave the commonsensical reply that we don't have as much money. That was a true but incomplete answer. In fact, women's total instinct for gambling is satisfied by marriage.

A good husband makes a good wife.

A good husband makes a good wife.

Patience makes a woman beautiful in middle age.

Patience makes a woman beautiful in middle age.

A single man has not nearly the value he would have in a state of union. He is an incomplete read more

A single man has not nearly the value he would have in a state of union. He is an incomplete animal. He resembles the odd half of a pair of scissors.

The strength of a nation derives from the integrity of the home.

The strength of a nation derives from the integrity of the home.