Every theory of love, from Plato down teaches that each individual loves in the other sex what he lacks in read more

Every theory of love, from Plato down teaches that each individual loves in the other sex what he lacks in himself.

The trouble with some women is they get all excited about nothing, and then they marry him.

The trouble with some women is they get all excited about nothing, and then they marry him.

Never tell. Not if you love your wife... In fact, if your old lady walks in on you, deny it. read more

Never tell. Not if you love your wife... In fact, if your old lady walks in on you, deny it. Yeah. Just flat out and she'll believe it: "I'm tellin' ya. This chick came downstairs with a sign around her neck 'Lay on Top of Me Or I'll Die.' I didn't know what I was gonna do....".

If Miss means respectably unmarried, and Mrs. respectably married, then Ms. means nudge, nudge, wink, wink.

If Miss means respectably unmarried, and Mrs. respectably married, then Ms. means nudge, nudge, wink, wink.

The society of women is the element of good manners.

The society of women is the element of good manners.

To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the wedding cup, whenever you're wrong, admit it; whenever you're right, shut read more

To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the wedding cup, whenever you're wrong, admit it; whenever you're right, shut up.

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have; the older she gets the more interested he is in read more

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have; the older she gets the more interested he is in her.

A man is already halfway in love with any woman who listens to him.

A man is already halfway in love with any woman who listens to him.

Ah Mozart! He was happily married - but his wife wasn't.

Ah Mozart! He was happily married - but his wife wasn't.