The majority of persons choose their wives with as little prudence as they eat. They see a troll with nothing read more

The majority of persons choose their wives with as little prudence as they eat. They see a troll with nothing else to recommend her but a pair of thighs and choice hunkers, and so smart to void their seed that they marry her at once. They imagine they can live in marvelous contentment with handsome feet and ambrosial buttocks. Most men are accredited fools shortly after they leave the womb.

The trouble with some women is they get all excited about nothing, and then they marry him.

The trouble with some women is they get all excited about nothing, and then they marry him.

Parents: persons who spend half their time worrying how a child will turn out, and the rest of the time read more

Parents: persons who spend half their time worrying how a child will turn out, and the rest of the time wondering when a child will turn in.

Women are most fascinating between the ages of thirty-five and forty, after they have won a few races and know read more

Women are most fascinating between the ages of thirty-five and forty, after they have won a few races and know how to pace themselves. Since few women ever pass forty, maximum fascination can continue indefinitely.

The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness, can be trained to do most things.

The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness, can be trained to do most things.

Woman is not born: she is made. In the making, her humanity is destroyed. She becomes symbol of this, symbol read more

Woman is not born: she is made. In the making, her humanity is destroyed. She becomes symbol of this, symbol of that: mother of the earth, slut of the universe; but she never becomes herself because it is forbidden for her to do so.

A beautiful lady is an accident of nature. A beautiful old lady is a work of art.

A beautiful lady is an accident of nature. A beautiful old lady is a work of art.

Someone once asked me why women don't gamble as much as men do and I gave the commonsensical reply that read more

Someone once asked me why women don't gamble as much as men do and I gave the commonsensical reply that we don't have as much money. That was a true but incomplete answer. In fact, women's total instinct for gambling is satisfied by marriage.

Woman submits to her fate; man makes his.

Woman submits to her fate; man makes his.