A good cigar is as great a comfort to a man as a good cry is to a woman.

A good cigar is as great a comfort to a man as a good cry is to a woman.

It seems as though women keep growing. Eventually they can have little or nothing in common with the men they read more

It seems as though women keep growing. Eventually they can have little or nothing in common with the men they chose long ago.

Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.

Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.

If Miss means respectably unmarried, and Mrs. respectably married, then Ms. means nudge, nudge, wink, wink.

If Miss means respectably unmarried, and Mrs. respectably married, then Ms. means nudge, nudge, wink, wink.

Man forgives women anything save the wit to outwit him.

Man forgives women anything save the wit to outwit him.

There are two types of people. Those we who come into a room and say, "Well, here I am!" and read more

There are two types of people. Those we who come into a room and say, "Well, here I am!" and those who come in and say, "Ah, there you are.".

It is impossible to believe that the same God who permitted His own son to die a bachelor regards celibacy read more

It is impossible to believe that the same God who permitted His own son to die a bachelor regards celibacy as an actual sin.

A woman isn't complete without a man. But where do you find a man - a real man - these read more

A woman isn't complete without a man. But where do you find a man - a real man - these days?

Never tell. Not if you love your wife... In fact, if your old lady walks in on you, deny it. read more

Never tell. Not if you love your wife... In fact, if your old lady walks in on you, deny it. Yeah. Just flat out and she'll believe it: "I'm tellin' ya. This chick came downstairs with a sign around her neck 'Lay on Top of Me Or I'll Die.' I didn't know what I was gonna do....".