A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her read more

A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her back again.

Nobody can misunderstand a boy like his own mother. Mothers at present can bring children into the world, but this read more

Nobody can misunderstand a boy like his own mother. Mothers at present can bring children into the world, but this performance is apt to mark the end of their capacities. They can't even attend to the elementary animal requirements of their offspring. It is quite surprising how many children survive in spite of their mothers.

I've had the boyhood thing of being Elvis. Now I want to be with my best friend, and my best read more

I've had the boyhood thing of being Elvis. Now I want to be with my best friend, and my best friend's my wife. Who could ask for anything more?

In the past decade or so, the women's magazines have taken to running home-handyperson articles suggesting that women can learn read more

In the past decade or so, the women's magazines have taken to running home-handyperson articles suggesting that women can learn to fix things just as well as men. These articles are apparently based on the ludicrous assumption that _men_ know how to fix things, when in fact all they know how to do is _look_ at things in a certain squinty-eyed manner, which they learned in Wood Shop; eventually, when enough things in the home are broken, they take a job requiring them to transfer to another home.

I would be married, but I'd have no wife, I would be married to a single life.

I would be married, but I'd have no wife, I would be married to a single life.

It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks. She's not marrying the best man.

It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks. She's not marrying the best man.

Every woman is wrong until she cries, and then she is right, instantly

Every woman is wrong until she cries, and then she is right, instantly

Some men demand rough treatment everywhere!

Some men demand rough treatment everywhere!

You know, fathers just have a way of putting everything together.

You know, fathers just have a way of putting everything together.