The father who does not teach his son his duties is equally guilty with the son who neglects them.

The father who does not teach his son his duties is equally guilty with the son who neglects them.

The person who can be only serious or only cheerful, is but half a man.

The person who can be only serious or only cheerful, is but half a man.

Diamonds never leave you... men do!

Diamonds never leave you... men do!

Woman begins by resisting a man's advances and ends up blocking his retreat.

Woman begins by resisting a man's advances and ends up blocking his retreat.

Someone once asked me why women don't gamble as much as men do and I gave the commonsensical reply that read more

Someone once asked me why women don't gamble as much as men do and I gave the commonsensical reply that we don't have as much money. That was a true but incomplete answer. In fact, women's total instinct for gambling is satisfied by marriage.

Family jokes, though rightly cursed by strangers, are the bond that keeps most families alive.

Family jokes, though rightly cursed by strangers, are the bond that keeps most families alive.

The man who can smile when things go wrong has thought of someone else he can blame it on.

The man who can smile when things go wrong has thought of someone else he can blame it on.

I have always dressed according to certain Basic Guy Fashion Rules, including: * Both of your socks should always be read more

I have always dressed according to certain Basic Guy Fashion Rules, including: * Both of your socks should always be the same color * Or they should at least both be fairly dark.

Call no man your father upon the earth, for one is your Father, which is in heaven.

Call no man your father upon the earth, for one is your Father, which is in heaven.