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It is better to be quotable than to be honest.
It is better to be quotable than to be honest.
Learn to laugh at your troubles and you'll never run out of things to laugh at.
Learn to laugh at your troubles and you'll never run out of things to laugh at.
a Christmas tree .. the perfect gift
for a guy... the plant is already dead
(monologue Dec 10 2003).
a Christmas tree .. the perfect gift
for a guy... the plant is already dead
(monologue Dec 10 2003).
I wish outer space guys would conquer the Earth and make people their pets, because I'd like to have one read more
I wish outer space guys would conquer the Earth and make people their pets, because I'd like to have one of those little beds with my name on it.
Humor is perhaps a sense of intellectual perspective: an awareness that some things are really important, others not; and that read more
Humor is perhaps a sense of intellectual perspective: an awareness that some things are really important, others not; and that the two kinds are most oddly jumbled in everyday affairs. - Inward Ho.
A facility for quotation covers the absence of original thought.
A facility for quotation covers the absence of original thought.
In the dime stores and bus stations, People talk of situations, read books, repeat quotations, Draw conclusions on the wall
In the dime stores and bus stations, People talk of situations, read books, repeat quotations, Draw conclusions on the wall
Sometimes when I feel like killing someone, I do a little trick to calm myself down. I'll go over to read more
Sometimes when I feel like killing someone, I do a little trick to calm myself down. I'll go over to the person's house and ring the doorbell. When the person comes to the door, I'm gone, but you know what I've left on the porch? A jack-o-lantern with a knife stuck in the side of its head with a note that says 'You.' After that I usually feel a lot better, and no harm done.
I love to go to the schoolyard and watch the children jump and scream, but they don't know I'm using read more
I love to go to the schoolyard and watch the children jump and scream, but they don't know I'm using blanks.
