Misquotation is, in fact, the pride and privilege of the learned. A widely-read man never quotes accurately, for the rather read more

Misquotation is, in fact, the pride and privilege of the learned. A widely-read man never quotes accurately, for the rather obvious reason that he has read too widely.

I said that Sean Hannity took residence up Newt Gingrich's
butt from 94 to 98. I got that from British read more

I said that Sean Hannity took residence up Newt Gingrich's
butt from 94 to 98. I got that from British intelligence.
It turns out he only took up residence in 95.

If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater because then people would sing about me read more

If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater because then people would sing about me and I could fly down and eat them because I hate that song.

In the dime stores and bus stations, People talk of situations, read books, repeat quotations, Draw conclusions on the wall

In the dime stores and bus stations, People talk of situations, read books, repeat quotations, Draw conclusions on the wall

Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.

Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.

Is anything besides the mind ever boggled?

Is anything besides the mind ever boggled?

I need no dictionary of quotations to remind me that the eyes are the windows of the soul

I need no dictionary of quotations to remind me that the eyes are the windows of the soul

If you're robbing a bank and you're pants fall down, I think it's okay to laugh and to let the read more

If you're robbing a bank and you're pants fall down, I think it's okay to laugh and to let the hostages laugh too, because, come on, life is funny.

Quotation is the highest compliment you can pay to an author

Quotation is the highest compliment you can pay to an author