Sometimes I think I'd be better off dead. No, wait, not me, you.

Sometimes I think I'd be better off dead. No, wait, not me, you.

Learn to laugh at your troubles and you'll never run out of things to laugh at.

Learn to laugh at your troubles and you'll never run out of things to laugh at.

He who laughs last has not yet heard the bad news.

He who laughs last has not yet heard the bad news.

A rich man's joke is always funny.

A rich man's joke is always funny.

Americans are pragmatic, relatively uncomplicated, hearty and given to broad humor.

Americans are pragmatic, relatively uncomplicated, hearty and given to broad humor.

Even though I was their captive, the Indians allowed me quite a bit of freedom. I could walk freely, make read more

Even though I was their captive, the Indians allowed me quite a bit of freedom. I could walk freely, make my own meals, and even hurl large rocks at their heads. It was only later that I discovered that they were not Indians at all but only dirty-clothes hampers.

Probably the earliest flyswatters were nothing more than some sort of striking surface attached to the end of a long read more

Probably the earliest flyswatters were nothing more than some sort of striking surface attached to the end of a long stick.

With the fearful strain that is on me night and day, if I did not laugh I should die.

With the fearful strain that is on me night and day, if I did not laugh I should die.

I guess we were all guilty, in a way. We all shot him, we all skinned him, and we all read more

I guess we were all guilty, in a way. We all shot him, we all skinned him, and we all got a complimentary bumper sticker that said, "I helped skin Bob.".