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    Humor has been the balm of my life, but it's been reserved for those close to me, not part of the public Lana.

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  17  /  21  

Sometimes when I feel like killing someone, I do a little trick to calm myself down. I'll go over to read more

Sometimes when I feel like killing someone, I do a little trick to calm myself down. I'll go over to the person's house and ring the doorbell. When the person comes to the door, I'm gone, but you know what I've left on the porch? A jack-o-lantern with a knife stuck in the side of its head with a note that says 'You.' After that I usually feel a lot better, and no harm done.

by Jack Handey Found in: Humor Quotes,
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  17  /  30  

I've always been very zealous about not invading other people's private spaces.

I've always been very zealous about not invading other people's private spaces.

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  21  /  34  

Anytime I see something screech across a room and latch onto someone's neck, and the guy screams and tries to read more

Anytime I see something screech across a room and latch onto someone's neck, and the guy screams and tries to get it off, I have to laugh, because what is that thing.

by Jack Handey Found in: Humor Quotes,
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  32  /  16  

Nothing shows a man's character more than what he laughs at.

Nothing shows a man's character more than what he laughs at.

by Clive James Found in: Humor Quotes, Laughter Quotes,
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  29  /  17  

Learn to laugh at your troubles and you'll never run out of things to laugh at.

Learn to laugh at your troubles and you'll never run out of things to laugh at.

by Walt Kelly Found in: Humor Quotes,
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  12  /  26  

A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs. It's jolted by every pebble on the read more

A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs. It's jolted by every pebble on the road.

by Henry Ward Beecher Found in: Humor Quotes,
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  27  /  36  

Like a welcome summer rain, humor may suddenly cleanse and cool the earth, the air and you.

Like a welcome summer rain, humor may suddenly cleanse and cool the earth, the air and you.

by Langston Hughes Found in: Humor Quotes,
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  26  /  13  

In the end, everything is a gag.

In the end, everything is a gag.

by Thomas Carlyle Found in: Humor Quotes,
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  23  /  22  

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four unless there are three other people.

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four unless there are three other people.

by Orson Welles Found in: Humor Quotes,
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