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    Humor has been the balm of my life, but it's been reserved for those close to me, not part of the public Lana.

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  18  /  27  

Humor is the instinct for taking pain playfully.

Humor is the instinct for taking pain playfully.

by Max Eastman Found in: Humor Quotes,
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  21  /  14  

The seal went into the restaurant and was asked
by the waiter if he would like a Canadian Club
on read more

The seal went into the restaurant and was asked
by the waiter if he would like a Canadian Club
on the rocks.
He replied
no thank you.

by Unknown Found in: Humor Quotes,
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  31  /  37  

To me, it's a good idea to always carry two sacks of something when you walk around. That way, if read more

To me, it's a good idea to always carry two sacks of something when you walk around. That way, if anybody says, 'Hey, can you give me a hand?' you can say, 'Sorry, got these sacks.'

by Jack Handey Found in: Humor Quotes,
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  24  /  17  

Many people think that history is a dull subject. Dull? Is it 'dull' that Jesse James once got bitten on read more

Many people think that history is a dull subject. Dull? Is it 'dull' that Jesse James once got bitten on the forehead by an ant, and at first it didn't seem like anything, but then the bite got worse and worse, so he went to a doctor in town, and the secretary told him to wait, so he sat down and waited, and waited, and waited, and waited, and then finally he got to see the doctor, and the doctor put some salve on it? You call that dull?

by Jack Handey Found in: Humor Quotes,
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  19  /  30  

The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.

The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.

by Horace Walpole Found in: Humor Quotes,
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Humor distorts nothing, and only false gods are laughed off their earthly pedestals.

Humor distorts nothing, and only false gods are laughed off their earthly pedestals.

by Agnes Repplier Found in: Humor Quotes,
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Humor is perhaps a sense of intellectual perspective: an awareness that some things are really important, others not; and that read more

Humor is perhaps a sense of intellectual perspective: an awareness that some things are really important, others not; and that the two kinds are most oddly jumbled in everyday affairs. - Inward Ho.

by Christopher Morley Found in: Humor Quotes,
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  26  /  20  

Miss Piggy to Johnny Carson
.. do you think I am Oscar material?
Johnny Carson: Oscar Mayer maybe
NBC Tonight read more

Miss Piggy to Johnny Carson
.. do you think I am Oscar material?
Johnny Carson: Oscar Mayer maybe
NBC Tonight Show writers
http://www.mad-cow.org.

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If I had no sense of humor, I would long ago have committed suicide.

If I had no sense of humor, I would long ago have committed suicide.

by Mahatma Gandhi Found in: Humor Quotes,
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