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If you could choose one characteristic that would get you through life, choose a sense of humor.
If you could choose one characteristic that would get you through life, choose a sense of humor.
I'd rather be rich than stupid.
I'd rather be rich than stupid.
When you go in for a job interview, I think a good thing to ask is if they ever press read more
When you go in for a job interview, I think a good thing to ask is if they ever press charges.
If I had no sense of humor, I would long ago have committed suicide.
If I had no sense of humor, I would long ago have committed suicide.
I scrambled to the top of the precipice where Nick was waiting. "That was fun," I said. "You bet it read more
I scrambled to the top of the precipice where Nick was waiting. "That was fun," I said. "You bet it was," said Nick. "Let's climb higher." "No," I said. "I think we should be heading back now." "We have time," Nick insisted. I said we didn't, and Nick said we did. We argued back and forth like that for about 20 minutes, then finally decided to head back. I didn't say it was an interesting story.
He who laughs last has not yet heard the bad news.
He who laughs last has not yet heard the bad news.
I said that Sean Hannity took residence up Newt Gingrich's
butt from 94 to 98. I got that from British read more
I said that Sean Hannity took residence up Newt Gingrich's
butt from 94 to 98. I got that from British intelligence.
It turns out he only took up residence in 95.
Humor is mankind's greatest blessing.
Humor is mankind's greatest blessing.
If I lived back in the wild west days, instead of carrying a six-gun in my holster, I'd carry a read more
If I lived back in the wild west days, instead of carrying a six-gun in my holster, I'd carry a soldering iron. That way, if some smart-aleck cowboy said something like 'Hey, look. He's carrying a soldering iron!' and started laughing, and everybody else started laughing, I could just say, 'That's right, it's a soldering iron. The soldering iron of justice.' Then everybody would get real quiet and ashamed, because they had made fun of the soldering iron of justice.
