Optimism: The doctrine, or belief, that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly, everything good, especially the bad, and everything read more

Optimism: The doctrine, or belief, that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly, everything good, especially the bad, and everything right that is wrong.

I wish outer space guys would conquer the Earth and make people their pets, because I'd like to have one read more

I wish outer space guys would conquer the Earth and make people their pets, because I'd like to have one of those little beds with my name on it.

When a person can no longer laugh at himself, it is time for others to laugh at him.

When a person can no longer laugh at himself, it is time for others to laugh at him.

Humor is mankind's greatest blessing.

Humor is mankind's greatest blessing.

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four unless there are three other people.

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four unless there are three other people.

Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night

Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night

Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter read more

Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it.

If they ever come up with a swashbuckling School, I think one of the courses should be Laughing, Then Jumping read more

If they ever come up with a swashbuckling School, I think one of the courses should be Laughing, Then Jumping Off Something.

With the fearful strain that is on me night and day, if I did not laugh I should die.

With the fearful strain that is on me night and day, if I did not laugh I should die.