Maxioms Pet

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    Anytime I see something screech across a room and latch onto someone's neck, and the guy screams and tries to get it off, I have to laugh, because what is that thing.

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  32  /  16  

Nothing shows a man's character more than what he laughs at.

Nothing shows a man's character more than what he laughs at.

by Clive James Found in: Humor Quotes, Laughter Quotes,
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  23  /  22  

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four unless there are three other people.

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four unless there are three other people.

by Orson Welles Found in: Humor Quotes,
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  20  /  29  

Humor can alter any situation and help us cope at the very instant we are laughing.

Humor can alter any situation and help us cope at the very instant we are laughing.

by Allen Klein Found in: Humor Quotes,
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  23  /  36  

If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater because then people would sing about me read more

If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater because then people would sing about me and I could fly down and eat them because I hate that song.

by Jack Handey Found in: Humor Quotes,
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  16  /  8  

The satirist shoots to kill while the humorist brings his prey back alive and eventually releases him again for another read more

The satirist shoots to kill while the humorist brings his prey back alive and eventually releases him again for another chance.

by Peter De Vries Found in: Humor Quotes,
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  14  /  8  

I think 'Country Girl' is one song that can veer into country or hip-hop or rap. You can listen to read more

I think 'Country Girl' is one song that can veer into country or hip-hop or rap. You can listen to it and enjoy the humor and the fun in it.

by Luke Bryan Found in: Humor Quotes,
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  10  /  18  

If you're robbing a bank and you're pants fall down, I think it's okay to laugh and to let the read more

If you're robbing a bank and you're pants fall down, I think it's okay to laugh and to let the hostages laugh too, because, come on, life is funny.

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  30  /  28  

Men show their character in nothing more clearly than by what they find laughable.

Men show their character in nothing more clearly than by what they find laughable.

by Anonymous Found in: Humor Quotes,
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  30  /  37  

Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo, flying across in front of a beautiful sunset? And he's read more

Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo, flying across in front of a beautiful sunset? And he's carrying a beautiful rose in his beak, and also he's carrying a very beautiful painting with his feet. And also, you're drunk.

by Jack Handey Found in: Humor Quotes,
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