I think one way the cops could make money would be to hold a murder weapons sale. Many people could read more

I think one way the cops could make money would be to hold a murder weapons sale. Many people could really use used ice picks.

If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet you could shoot beer out of you nose.

If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet you could shoot beer out of you nose.

The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.

The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.

In the end, everything is a gag.

In the end, everything is a gag.

The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.

The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.

If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the read more

If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason.

Those who are serious in ridiculous matters will be ridiculous in serious matters.

Those who are serious in ridiculous matters will be ridiculous in serious matters.

I wish there were more humor in my work than I see in it.

I wish there were more humor in my work than I see in it.

If you don't learn to laugh at troubles, you won't have anything to laugh at when you grow old.

If you don't learn to laugh at troubles, you won't have anything to laugh at when you grow old.