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    A good way to threaten somebody is to light a stick of dynamite. Then you call the guy and hold the burning fuse up to the phone. 'Hear that?' you say, 'That's dynamite, baby.'

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  16  /  22  

The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.

The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.

by Bob Edwards Found in: Humor Quotes, Laughter Quotes,
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  22  /  33  

The real reason for comedy is to hide the pain.

The real reason for comedy is to hide the pain.

by Wendy Wasserstein Found in: Humor Quotes,
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  23  /  12  

I am no longer a curmudgeon.
I am a curmudgeon emeritus.

I am no longer a curmudgeon.
I am a curmudgeon emeritus.

by James Gibbons Found in: Humor Quotes,
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  24  /  21  

Now I perceive the devil understands Welsh.
And 'tis no marvel he is so humorous.
By'r Lady, read more

Now I perceive the devil understands Welsh.
And 'tis no marvel he is so humorous.
By'r Lady, he is a good musician.

by William Shakespeare Found in: Humor Quotes,
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  23  /  36  

If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater because then people would sing about me read more

If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater because then people would sing about me and I could fly down and eat them because I hate that song.

by Jack Handey Found in: Humor Quotes,
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  19  /  18  

Humore is an affirmation of man's dignity, a declaration of man's superiority to all that befalls him.

Humore is an affirmation of man's dignity, a declaration of man's superiority to all that befalls him.

by Romain Cary Found in: Humor Quotes,
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  19  /  34  

If they ever come up with a swashbuckling School, I think one of the courses should be Laughing, Then Jumping read more

If they ever come up with a swashbuckling School, I think one of the courses should be Laughing, Then Jumping Off Something.

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  25  /  23  

Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter read more

Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it.

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  17  /  12  

Humor distorts nothing, and only false gods are laughed off their earthly pedestals. - Points of View.

Humor distorts nothing, and only false gods are laughed off their earthly pedestals. - Points of View.

by Agnes Repplier Found in: Humor Quotes,
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