If you're robbing a bank and you're pants fall down, I think it's okay to laugh and to let the read more

If you're robbing a bank and you're pants fall down, I think it's okay to laugh and to let the hostages laugh too, because, come on, life is funny.

Sometimes I lie awake at night, and ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This read more

Sometimes I lie awake at night, and ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'

Humor can alter any situation and help us cope at the very instant we are laughing.

Humor can alter any situation and help us cope at the very instant we are laughing.

Humor distorts nothing, and only false gods are laughed off their earthly pedestals.

Humor distorts nothing, and only false gods are laughed off their earthly pedestals.

Time flies like an arrow.
Fruit flies like a banana.

Time flies like an arrow.
Fruit flies like a banana.

If you ever fall off the Sears Tower, just go real limp, because maybe you'll look like a dummy and read more

If you ever fall off the Sears Tower, just go real limp, because maybe you'll look like a dummy and people will try to catch you because, hey, free dummy.

Most people don't realize that large pieces of coral, which have been painted brown and attached to the skull by read more

Most people don't realize that large pieces of coral, which have been painted brown and attached to the skull by common wood screws, can make a child look like a deer.

A sense of humor is the ability to understand a joke - and that the joke is oneself.

A sense of humor is the ability to understand a joke - and that the joke is oneself.

The seal went into the restaurant and was asked
by the waiter if he would like a Canadian Club
on read more

The seal went into the restaurant and was asked
by the waiter if he would like a Canadian Club
on the rocks.
He replied
no thank you.