Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter read more

Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it.

A person reveals his character by nothing so clearly as the joke he resents.

A person reveals his character by nothing so clearly as the joke he resents.

If you could choose one characteristic that would get you through life, choose a sense of humor.

If you could choose one characteristic that would get you through life, choose a sense of humor.

WARNING: Humor may be hazardous to your illness.

WARNING: Humor may be hazardous to your illness.

Sometimes I lie awake at night, and ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This read more

Sometimes I lie awake at night, and ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'

I am no longer a curmudgeon.
I am a curmudgeon emeritus.

I am no longer a curmudgeon.
I am a curmudgeon emeritus.

The satirist shoots to kill while the humorist brings his prey back alive and eventually releases him again for another read more

The satirist shoots to kill while the humorist brings his prey back alive and eventually releases him again for another chance.

If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn't open, and you friends are all watching you fall, I think a read more

If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn't open, and you friends are all watching you fall, I think a funny gag would be to pretend you were swimming.

a Christmas tree .. the perfect gift
for a guy... the plant is already dead
(monologue Dec 10 2003).

a Christmas tree .. the perfect gift
for a guy... the plant is already dead
(monologue Dec 10 2003).