I don't think I'll live long enough to shoot my age. I'm lucky to shoot my weight.

I don't think I'll live long enough to shoot my age. I'm lucky to shoot my weight.

The uglier a man's legs are, the better he plays golf. It's almost a law.

The uglier a man's legs are, the better he plays golf. It's almost a law.

I've spent most of my life golfing - the rest I've just wasted

I've spent most of my life golfing - the rest I've just wasted

The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course.

The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course.

A ball will always come to rest halfway down a hill, unless there is sand or water at the bottom.

A ball will always come to rest halfway down a hill, unless there is sand or water at the bottom.

It took me 17 years to get 3,000 hits, but I did it in one afternoon on the golf course.

It took me 17 years to get 3,000 hits, but I did it in one afternoon on the golf course.

The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing.

The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing.

Golf, like measles, should be caught young.

Golf, like measles, should be caught young.

They say "practice" makes perfect " Of course, it doesn't. For the vast majority of golfers it merely consolidates imperfection.

They say "practice" makes perfect " Of course, it doesn't. For the vast majority of golfers it merely consolidates imperfection.