I don't think I'll live long enough to shoot my age. I'm lucky to shoot my weight.

I don't think I'll live long enough to shoot my age. I'm lucky to shoot my weight.

Golf is a day spent in a round of strenuous idleness.

Golf is a day spent in a round of strenuous idleness.

The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course.

The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course.

A ball will always come to rest halfway down a hill, unless there is sand or water at the bottom.

A ball will always come to rest halfway down a hill, unless there is sand or water at the bottom.

I regard golf as an expensive way of playing marbles.

I regard golf as an expensive way of playing marbles.

I've spent most of my life golfing - the rest I've just wasted

I've spent most of my life golfing - the rest I've just wasted

Go play golf. Go to the golf course. Hit the ball. Find the ball. Repeat until the ball is in read more

Go play golf. Go to the golf course. Hit the ball. Find the ball. Repeat until the ball is in the hole. Have fun. The end.

It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.

It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.

Golf, like measles, should be caught young.

Golf, like measles, should be caught young.